f Here Comes Miss-IZ Haiiiiiiiry Legs <$BlogRSDURL$>

Friday, December 10, 2004

Mmmm, iron.

Every summer since she was born my sister has been a veritable beef and blood buffet for mosquitoes whereas I have nary had a nibble. Until now - dunh-dunh! I woke up at 6 on Thursday morning full of vim and vigour because I had scored a day off work. Sure, it was to go to an all-day seminar on agricultural data-protection legislation but still.

My eye felt a bit hurty when I rubbed the sleep out of it but eh, whatever. I didn't realise until I looked in the mirror later that some bastard mosquito (perhaps a whole posse of mosquitoes) had feasted on my eyelid during the night so that it was now swollen to the size of a golf ball.

Part of my brief for attending the seminar was to schmooze and make contacts. It went sort of like this:

MHL: Hi I'm [Ms Hairy Legs], that was all pretty interesting don't you think [check out my GIANT! MUTANT! EYE! blink. blink.]?

Random attendee: Ew! Get away from me, cyclops.

Wyrd Sisters

Social and professional rejection notwithstanding, Thursday was not a bad day. The seminar finished at 2.30 so I had the whole afternoon off - quel luxury! I met up with MSB for a drink, went to the gym and then met up with some friends for dinner and managed to fit in a stage production of Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters.

Pratchett has a lot of rabid fans out there but I find the Discworld books pretty hit and miss. The Light Fantastic which an ex swore blind was the BestBookEVAH! (idiot) was excessively boring. Rincewind sucks. Pratchett's signature style is starting off with wildly disparate characters all in random settings going about their own shonky business but are all eventually brought together. It might be because my concentration is crap but he sometimes leaves the convergence until far too late in the book and because he skips from one character to the next so frequently I usually can't care enough about any of them to keep reading. In the Hogfather, I got up to page 100-and-something and the story still hadn't got started (I think it was still "Oooh, something is up at the Unseen University...oooh").

On the other hand Guards! Guards! is so funny and has such endearing characters that I've given copies to friends so that they too would know the wonder that is Corporal Carrot and the motley crew making up the Watch. (I've never finished Men At Arms though - Angua the she-wolf is a whinging, navel-gazing cow and utterly undeserving of Carrot's love: "Oh, I can't stay, I have to leave him - for his own good. Sigh. No, maybe I'll stay. No, go...Stay?...Go?" Crazy bitch, just fuck off would you. ARGHH. Carrot belongs with Minty the dwarf anyway).

I was a bit apprehensive about seeing Wyrd Sisters especially as it was being presented at U.N.S.W's ramshackle hovel, the Figtree Theatre for 15 bucks a ticket (10 for concession). But, it was GREAT! The gags translated really well to the stage and the actors were very, very good. They must have done it on a shoestring budget but it was a very impressive production; they made the best of what small space they had on the stage and the lighting was effective and well-judged. A good job done by the witches especially Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax; the actors who played Tom John (and others), the Duke, the Fool and Death. Good stuff.

They belong to an amateur theatrical group called thee More Pork Players. I checked out their website and apparently they put on Guards! Guards last year! Damn.


Bah humbug

Seriously, (hack journalism aside) I think Clover's biggest problem here is that she spent six hundred thousand dollars on a couple of trees and some freakin banners. If they had been made of 100% silk, hand woven and stitched up with gold thread by vestal virgins and trimmed with sable, then that figure would start making sense to me. But I've seen those banners and Clover's been gypped.

I am disturbed that the Council is spending $300,000 more than last year's budget for decorations. (Decorations, people!) I am more disturbed that there are people who don't think this is enough:

"It has just been enormous, the biggest response to any controversy for a very long time."

It's just fucking obscene. If you're truly a Christian the reason for the season is entirely unrelated to how elaborate and grand your tinsel and baubles are. And anyway, aren't the gaudy, vaudevillian nativity displays at Myer and DJs not enough for you freaks?


It's only taken me five hours of frustrating calls to the Ddo but I've finally hooked up to the heady world of broadband! iPrimus dial-up is twenty a month but we had to use two phone lines so that the total cost of using the net, including the phone bills has been around$170/month. Insanity! I should have done this sooner.


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