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Monday, July 25, 2005

Wanker Lawyer Types

One of the lawyers in my group came back from a trip overseas recently with a job offer. He gave notice of his resignation and then proceeded to:

  1. not come to work for the next week and half citing "illness";
  2. do no more work
  3. instruct his secretary to:

When he realised his present kitty/slush fund had raised no more than $65 ( yes, even after I had grudgingly contributed the princely sum of $1.40), he whinged about it ("Well, I guess I must be the only person who sticks to the $3-5 rule!), until the firm kicked in another $180. He then proceeded to go and buy himself an iPod Shuffle (Duty Free, cheap bastard), came back to the office and wrapped it in paper and ribbon himself and then asked our receptionist, "Right, now who do I give this to?".

Naturally he gave a lame, I-love-myself speech at his farewell morning tea during which the only person who laughed at his jokes was him.

(Btw, afterwards?:

WLR: So, did you think my speech was sincere?

Receptionist: Uh, I don't know. I wasn't listening.

WLR: Oh. Well. It wasn't!)

And then he:

His secretary did in fact call payroll. To say: "X hasn't come into work for the last 3 days but asked me to call you and say that he has. You might want to do something about that."

Fucker. But damn if I won't miss the delicious train wreck of his smug, self-serving, fraud-perpetrating, bridge-burning assholery.


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