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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

All my friends are getting maaaaaarried

Well not all, but it sure feels that way. One old friend who vowed he'd never get married this side of 30 and that we would be old crazy cat owners together is now engaged. Judas! The wedding is almost a year away and already he's spent the last four weekends driving around looking for churches and receptions venues. Ha. I bet he now wishes he were living in sin instead. Nah, probably not - he's all "why-do birds-suddenly -appear...", and aglow with the flushes of impending first marriage.

We went out to dinner with him, his fiancée, Dicky and his girlfriend the other night. She seemed to be a lovely girl - a bit too Catholic compared to his usual women (with the usual puritanical tendencies) but I’d never seen him happier so who cared? So we chatted away happily until Dicky said something in sarcastic praise of Miranda Devine and Fiancée Girl burst forth with: “Miranda Devine! Oh my God, I love her! Are you a fan? I can’t believe it! I’ve never met another Miranda Devine fan before…” A moment’s silence passed while we tried to detect any hints of sarcasm. There were none, and so much under-the-table kicking ensued.

That was when all the Eep! Moments I’d had when my friend had talked about Fiancée Girl came flying out from the carpet under which I’d swept them. Like how she was a (wet) Liberal…whereas he’s been a member of the Labor Party since he was 15. Political differences don’t really matter much in the scheme of things but what really pinged was when he said that she’s a straight (i.e. somewhat conservative) girl and he’s found himself self-censuring when he’s in front of her or her friends. It showed during dinner when he wasn’t his usual crass, foul-mouthed self. Would you put it down to growing up? Or just not being able to show all sides of yourself in front of your partner? In which case, isn’t that a bit shit (and also an augur that things will eventually end in bitter tears and recriminations)?

Like I said, he seems thrilled and he says that he’s never felt that way about anyone before but knowing that he feels that he has to self-censor in front of his future wife makes me censor myself in front of her too…and also makes me wonder how long it will last. (Although if it doesn’t, well, the first marriage is supposed to gut-wrenching and soul-destroying to prepare us for subsequent marriages, right?). But it also comes down to the fact that I’m not ready for that whole getting married and having a family business. And what do you do if you don’t get along with your friend’s spouse?! Yikes.

Wasn’t it so much more fun when everyone was turning 21 instead? Let’s go back to that!


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