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Saturday, May 27, 2006

MSB and I continue our luckless run of crappy movies. Last night's feature was X-Men: the Last Stand. Some spoilery comments:

· I know all the Marvel freaks bag out Halle Berry for her realisation of Storm but where’s the hate for Anna Paquin? It’s not just that Rogue is completely useless because the blame for that lies with Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn. But the lousy, doughy-faced acting and hilariously bad American accent? That’s all Paquin.

· The story arc for this instalment just didn’t live up to its premise. Exploring the 2 sides of Jean Grey, especially after she kills Scott (poor Cyclops - he gets the crappy power and is offed by the woman he loves) and Dr X, and the mutant whose power was to block the powers of other mutants in his vicinity were great but wasn’t explored enough because of the “last stand” aspect of the story. It brought in a lot of unnecessary and expendable characters and didn’t give the main cast anything to do.

· I don’t understand why there was such fear about the mutant “vaccine”. Genes that can be suppressed can often be switched on again, especially if the suppressant is easily metabolised. And let's face it, comic genre cures and vaccines always have an "antidote".

· Was Magneto meant to be evil in this one? Because he actually had a point about the vaccine being used as a weapon and its genocidal capacity.

· How cheesey was the dialogue? I’m talking about lines to the tune of: “You’re either with us or against us”. And on being told that, with the mutants wreaking havoc at the vaccine centre, reinforcements were half an hour away the President says “Then God help us!” etc. Bwahahaha. I mean, there's no one in the world who could play Wolverine better than Hugh Jackman but even he was struggling in places. It’s so bad, it’s awful.

The only way to respond to this movie is to pretend that it never happened. Just like Anne of Green Gables: the Continuing Story and the BBC’s 1995 production of Persuasion. They never happened. They NEVER happened. LA LA LA. I CAN’T HEEARR YOOUUU…


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Because I live at the arse end of the world, I've only just finished watching the first season of Veronica Mars which I had to order from the US (Channel 10 programming people, you are hopeless!). Is it wrong to have so much affection for a series set in high school about a girl detective? But really, how could I resist a show that has:

· the best evah season finale in the history of television

· the most hilarious evah guest appearance by Passions' Travis Schuldt

· the best evah homage to a Molly Ringwald movie

· the best evah stunt casting featuring Harry Hamlin, Lisa Rinna and Lisa Rinna's lips (although as stunt casting goes I could have done without Alyson Hannigan - ew)

· the most adorable evah karaoke scene featuring a Blondie song

Sigh. Fun times.


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Boooooo! Dreams don't come true. What's the point in living?


Thursday, May 11, 2006


Get thee to the SMH website posthaste: Mel and Kochie may go to gaol!

The possibility of such sweet schadenfreude threatens to make my head explode. I may well soil myself in anticipation.

Ostensibly, they would be getting sent down for breaches of Children and Young Persons Act 1989 VIC by broadcasting discussions relating to a current matter before the Victorian Children’s Court and particularly, by mentioning aspects of the matter that would have allowed public identification of the child in question. Or something. BUT, if there was any true justice in this world they would be doing hard time for being criminally stupid (that would be, Giggly McBubblehead, Melissa Doyle) and for being an obnoxious, cretinous, insufferably conceited blowhard (that would be David Koch, earnest chrome-dome crusader for mine collapse victims and poster-boy for accountants undergoing mid-life crises).

I can’t believe how someone as obviously lacking in neural function as Melissa Doyle can be allowed to be a morning TV host. She has a perpetual air of confusion about her and is blatantly uncomfortable and ignorant when discussion on Seven Sunrise steers into the areas of news, current affairs, politics or economics. She very often asks questions written down for her robotically without listening to the answer. The most recent example of this is the post-Budget interview with John Howard where she asked him how the Budget would effect a single person on $45K. Howard’s answer went on to discuss the situation of a couple on an income of $[X]. After which she asked him, “Okay. So what about couples on an income of $[X]?”.

Another time, she and Koch were interviewing some researcher on the spread of AIDS in Australia and (RIDICULOUSLY!) the statistics for unprotected sex in the gay community were brought up. Apparently 25% per cent of ‘mos surveyed were having unprotected sex. Naturally Doyle responded with shock and horror at such a high rate of gross and disgusting irresponsibility by homosexuals not taking into consideration:

(a) the rate of straight people who must be rutting like animals with nary a piece of glad wrap to save them; and

(b) why wouldn’t gay people in long-term relationships, with knowledge of their partner’s health, NOT have unprotected sex?

Sadly World, I’m afraid she has aready bred.

As for David Koch, I can’t quite put my finger on why he’s such a tool. I think it may be the way he seems always to be on the verge of declaring “Dear GOD, the people LOVE ME!”, and is kept barely in check by a thin veneer of vomitous faux modesty and sincerity.


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