f Here Comes Miss-IZ Haiiiiiiiry Legs <$BlogRSDURL$>

Saturday, January 07, 2006

I have been teaching MSB some Vietnamese. In exchange he teach me speak English good.

Today's phrase is:

"Hãy b?n ông Gary Glitter".

"Hay ("ay" pronounced like "eh???!" in English when someone you can't believe that stupid thing you've just heard, but in a lower register - such is the curse of tonal languages) bung (sort of rhymes with hung but sharper and said in a higher register) ohm Gary Glitter".

Which means:

Let's shoot Gary Glitter. Not that I'm an advocate for the death penalty - I only support shooting Gary Glitter in the nuts.


I drool in my sleep. It's been happening for some time now and is utterly disgusting. But I can't stop. I'll be in a deep slumber or perhaps just nodding off when I feel a warm moistness on the pillow. My brain knows that I'm drooling but is completely incapable of stopping it - my body just won't respond. Stupid brain. So I just keep sleeping and drooling and in the morning there's another grotty, crusty patch on the pillow.


Thursday, January 05, 2006

*Pokes blog* Wake up blog!

My sad attempts to return to blogging at the end of last year were thwarted by a complete lack of inspiration, mainly due to my dull, dull existence.

If 2005 could be summed up in less than 10 words, they would be: “crippling debt”, “academic failure” and “working like a dog”.

The first 6 months consisted of living from pay day to pay day so that I could pay off my student loan. I managed to pay off the student loan in August – hurrah! Am currently paying off the credit card debt I’d accrued while scrimping to pay off the student loan – boo! Nearly done with that too though.

There was also the problem of failing the dreaded drafting patents subject in my course. Le sigh. I really, truly cannot express in words how much I loathe that subject, but I’ll try. I hate “drafting patents” more than Mike Munro. But less than David Koch. I actually had nightmares about it. On the bright side, I now know that I don’t want to be a patent attorney and that reading specifications is all day is more boring than…um…reading this blog. But surely it’s better to know now after another $10,000 worth of uni fees than say, after accepting an attorney job? However, I am committed to finishing off this cunty degree and getting registered even if it kills me or puts me even further into debt with the government. I have a masochistic pride about it even.

The second 6 months consisted of avalanches of work and much hand-wringing over whether I should move firms or not. A partner I worked for was moving his practice to a specialist firm and I was offered a position there. They dangled the carrots of specialised work within IP litigation and commercialisation and…a drafting patents tutor. My old firm offered more money (3 pay rises in six weeks!) and the comfort of being somewhere where I was happy, liked and comfortable. The new place offered better career opportunities if I wanted to specialise in IP but my old firm was the devil I knew and I had a really good variety of work there. This will sound utterly pissweak but it was a really hard decision because I loved my old colleagues and I loved the group I was working in, so what was holding me back was emotional ties and fear. I doubt men ever vacillate emotionally like this when it comes to work.

The new place is okay. The first day was absolutely awful. I missed my secretary. I missed having a friend in the next office and being able to bang on the common wall. I missed all the crazy, endearing people I worked with like one of the partners who would go around flicking people with rubber bands on a Friday afternoon. Even worse, my partner and I had lunch that day and I cried into my sandwich. Mortifying. Everything was different even though I was still working for one of my old bosses and doing similar work. Things are better now although it’s been hard making new friends. The people here are nice but it’s not the same. One of the lawyers here talks to me with his eyes tightly closed.

And all the while I ploughed through the horror of another semester. I got through those subjects okay, so now it really is just drafting patents to go. You’d think that after all that studying crap I’d spend my holidays podium dancing in a club somewhere and flashing sailors but I don’t seem to work that way. My idea of letting loose has been to go the gym and practise French and Vietnamese and to teach myself Spanish and Japanese. I can’t help it, that’s just what I feel like doing. It’s disturbing – as if I don’t want to not be a nerd.

So, after the most boring year evah my resolutions for 2006 are:

1. Be less dull
2. Spend more time with my own friends compared to the time I've been spending with MSB's friends
3. Finish my damn Masters and get registered as a patent attorney
4. Go overseas to work
5. Finish HP and the Goblet of Fire in French and Vietnamese
6. Get up to intermediate level in Spanish and Japanese
7. Get back into tae kwon do - this is a broken resolution from last year
8. Become a better cook - ditto
9. Become financially literate
10. Use "fucking" less as an adjective


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